Today, I feel closer to my life. Living is not easy because everything is short-lived and everything becomes precious when it is short-lived. Having thought about it, past was bleak, future looks bleak and the present doesn’t exist. While I am stuck in between several parallel timelines, I cannot ignore everything and be the escapist I always have been. Running away is not the solution. Facing it would mean the end of everything. It would be a lie if I were to say I am alright. It would be a lie if I were to say I am miserable. Truth is confusing and I cannot agree with it. The connection between my head and my heart is in chaos and my body is trying to live with it. The battle is unnecessary. The words are unnecessary. Yet these words are probably the only thing I have today.
Beyond these words, hope waits for me. Another life in another time and I’ll have to leave behind everything. I have come so far and I have to go even further. I am learning. I am forcing. I am learning to force myself. Happiness has a price today. The price is to lose everything. Is everything worth risking for? Maybe that is what worth the life is. Priceless.